Late Update...

Well, I took a little break from blogging... from life really... ha ha.. I learned the hard way that I need to trust my gut. I know a lot more about myself then I realize. When I went to my doctor's appointment the first time to check my follicle count, I was worried. And my estrogen level was pretty low... I had this feeling that I should cancel the cycle, and try for more follicles, but in the end, I felt good about proceeding... so I did. My worst fears were confirmed when I woke up from the Anesthesia and the doctor told me they had retrieved 2 eggs. I was pretty loopy, and I was like, did he say 2???? What??? And then I became hysterical... this was NOT good news at all, but at least we have an idea now of what's wrong with me... maybe... Kylle calmed me down, and we made it safely through the next 2 phone calls... First, both of the eggs fertilized... HUGE step!!! and Second, they both made it to day 3 for retrieval.. Both of them were transferred, and well... the next phone call wasn't a good one. Negative blood test. Now, I knew going in to this that it was a gamble... A $12,000.00 gamble to be exact, but I took that gamble, hoping for the best. I have been trying so hard to convince myself that it was worth it, and then a thought came to me... I have spent more money on stupider things... So I don't regret it. Actually the crazy thing is I am ACTUALLY considering doing it again... At first I said, no way... but I really do want a child of my own... maybe I am just being impatient... The doctors haven't found anything really wrong with us, and he even told me last week that it's possible that I could get pregnant on my own still... so maybe I should just be patient, I don't know... My birthday is next week, and ten years ago when asked what I would be doing when I turned 24 my answer was always.. I'll be a mom.. and usually I was a lawyer too... I'm neither of those. I wish I could figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I wish I could start an animal foundation, and save pets that stray away from home. I always see cute little dogs running around neighborhoods, and I feel so bad, I wish I could save them all... I wish I could do something about the sucky insurance coverage for infertility in Nevada. I wish I could just move back east for a little bit, maybe I will... So my goal for right now is to make the most of my skinny body! I'm going to be working with a trainer to get nice and toned, so I will look hot in the bikini that I will NOt be wearing in public... hmph.. And I need to find something to do.. This staying at home thing is getting SOOO boring!! Friday I laid around all day, watched movies, and I did a little laundry. I don't have to do laundry very often anymore because my new washer and dryer wash so many clothes at once! You'd think that would be a good thing... Yes it can wash more... but that also means I have to fold WAY more! Lol... Fold... ha! Like I ever fold any laundry!! You know what's funny? Folding underwear! I know there are lots of people who do that... YOU ARE WEIRD!!! Seriously!? Why fold your underwear? Who cares if it's wrinkled? It's UNDER your clothes!! When we first got married, I put Kylle's underwear in his underwear drawer, and he was like, don't you fold it? I was like... YOU can fold it if you like, but I don't fold underwear!! I fold pants, and towels... that's it. The rest I hang up, or underwear gets thrown in a drawer. I like doing laundry... except for putting the clothes away.. that's kind of a big part I guess. I like doing dishes. The only reason why I need a dishwasher is to dry my dishes. I HATE drying dishes! I am so scatterbrained... A recent discovery of mine is that I really don't have a bad memory at all. Anyone who knows me would say that I have a horrible memory, which I would normally agree with, but then... I realized that my brain does actually work!! The problem is, it stores things in a far away place, and sometimes it takes me extra time to find it. But most things are actually there! Wow! My brain works so fast... I can be thinking about so many things, and one thing leads to another thing, and you have me going from "what my life should be" to "folded underwear"... I will come up with the weirdest things, and Kylle will say, Um.. where did that come from? And then I go backward, and it's soooo crazy! I think I've rambled enough for tonight, but dang, it feels so good to get some of that out. Phew...

Abuela's Picadillo

So I finally got around to uploading a bunch of pictures from my desktop to my IPOD, and I saw these pictures, and just had to make a post. These pictures are from about 3 years ago I guess... One day I decided that I hadn't learned how to make very many Cuban dishes, so I asked my beautiful, Cuban Abuelita to teach me some dishes. This day we made Picadillo, which is a Cuban Stew. It's kind of like a Spaghetti sauce, and you eat it over rice. Well, I am so grateful that we had that time together and now, I know how to make it! My Grandma died one year ago.. It was so sudden and quick, and I miss her so dearly. But I am grateful for all of the things that she did for me. I am grateful for eternal families, and I know that I will see her again one day.

Moving right along..

Well, I have had 2 doctors appointments to check on my growing eggs, and today the doctor saw 8 follicles... so he is hoping to get 5-6 eggs. More would be great. I have to admit, that at first I was a little uneasy about the number, because I was really hoping to get at least 10 eggs, but I still feel good about it, so we are going with it. I have to get my first "butt" shot tonight! Yipee!! But actually I am a little happier about that because the nurse was kind enough to give me a smaller needle! Only 1 inch now instead of 1 and a 1/2. And a half inch makes a HUGE difference! So then my retrieval is set for Thursday! And depending on the eggs, I will have my transfer on either Sunday or the Tuesday after... I'm so nervous, and anxious and excited! I think I am going to schedule a massage for Saturday to help me relax for the transfer... and then I will be on bed rest for at least one day, maybe more... so I'm sure I will have lots of time to update this thing and add some pictures... blogs just don't seem too fun without pictures!

Needles and more needles...

Today was my first doctor's appointment for my IVF cycle. They had to draw blood to make sure my horomones are right, and they did and ultrasound to make sure my ovaries are ready to start growing eggies! The ultrasounds I have to have are not your regular, on the tummy ultrasounds... The doctor uses and wand that has to go... well, you know where... anyways today was an interesting day... Sorry for a little TMI!! I sat back and the ultrasound machine wasn't working, so I had to walk halfway naked to another room... but everything looked great! I am good to start my egg growing medications on Tuesday! Then I will be doing 2 injections a day! One in the morning and one in the evening. So anyways.... after the ultrasound I had to give blood, and I am completely horrible when it comes to giving blood. For some reason, I get light headed after and sometimes I pass out. I can usually feel it coming on though, so I hurry and put my head down. Well, I told them that I pass out, and that I need to lay down when they draw me, so I laid down. One girl came in the room and was getting my arm ready to be poked... My mom was trying to distract me by talking about my doggies, and I felt the poke... waited a little bit, and in a flash it was over. I was relieved, but then the girl told me that she hadn't got any blood, and she was going to try my other arm.... DANG it!! I thought it was over! So she goes to my other arm... same thing... poke... wait, all done! But then she says she still didn't get anything, so she goes to get another nurse! I was so not up for that today! Well, this new girl I have worked with a lot, and we've spent quite a bit of time together... so I was happy to have her, and she got it on the first try! Finally! So that was my fun adventure for today. I also have to add that all these medications are making me a crazy person... Yesterday I yelled at Kylle for the stupidest little things... sorry babe!! I think he understands! It's only going to get worse as I continue to add more medications...

Catching up... Kitchen

Well, I haven't done any blogging yet really, so I thought I would try to add some older stuff. I really like this way of journaling, it will be so nice to look back at! Ok... so the Kitchen.. Well, Kylle bought me some really nice Calphalon pots for Christmas, and a rack to hang them on. He very kindly installed the rack the day after Christmas, and having the nice stainless rack and pots reminded me that my kitchen needed a little makeover. When we bought the house the cabinets were a hideous darkish oak, with gold handles and hinges... So the first thing I did, was paint the cabinets a red, and replace all the hardware with silver pulls and hinges. That kept me happy for a while, but with a fancy pot rack I needed something better, and I had been bugging Kylle to make me new cabinet doors for a while anyway, so... He refaced my cabinet doors, we painted everything black, and he even built me, FROM SCRATCH, not a box... a big pantry cabinet. The previous owners had taken the original pantry cabinet out... so I am attaching pictures of my beautiful new cabinet my smart, amazing, wonderful husband built for me! The top of it is shelves, and then there are two huge drawers at the bottom.

The Whole Kitchen

One down... a million to go..

Well today is the OFFICIAL first day of my IVF cycle. I can't believe it is finally here! I just gave myself the first shot, and now I just have about a million more.. I took a picture of most of my drugs and needles, and then I realized that I left some out... oh well.. lol.. If the procedure works, then I will have to order some MORE drugs and needles... Yipee.. Oh well, I'm already over it. So today I am taking 3 different medications.. birth control, dexamethasone, and lupron... My first doctor's appointment is next Friday, and then I get to add 2 more medications, folic acid, and Bravelle. That is when I get to start having to do 2 injections a day. Well, I think that is all up to date. I am going to add another post too I think.

First Official Blog

So other people's blogs have inspired me to finally get mine together. I have decided that it is a great way of journaling, and now that I am starting In Vitro I want to be able to keep track of every little thing, so I can look back at it, and maybe it could even help other people in my situation. Well, I paid my deposit, and the rest of the money is due February 23... I can't believe this time has finally come for me... I used to think I would never be able to to IVF, but everything has just finally come together... It is so wonderful! I ordered all the drugs today, and they will be arriving tomorrow. I got my medication calendar yesterday, and it is so overwhelming! Most days I will be taking 5 or more medications... 2 of which are injections, which I have to do separately. I was hoping I could mix them into one syringe, but nope.. I gotta inject myself twice a day... Yippee! Most of the injections I have gotten used to because of my IUI cycles, but the ones I'm really worried about are the Progesterone injections that I have to get in the butt everyday for 5 weeks!! I will manage to get through it somehow. The first injections start on March 4th! I'm nervous, but I can't wait!!