Late Update...

Well, I took a little break from blogging... from life really... ha ha.. I learned the hard way that I need to trust my gut. I know a lot more about myself then I realize. When I went to my doctor's appointment the first time to check my follicle count, I was worried. And my estrogen level was pretty low... I had this feeling that I should cancel the cycle, and try for more follicles, but in the end, I felt good about proceeding... so I did. My worst fears were confirmed when I woke up from the Anesthesia and the doctor told me they had retrieved 2 eggs. I was pretty loopy, and I was like, did he say 2???? What??? And then I became hysterical... this was NOT good news at all, but at least we have an idea now of what's wrong with me... maybe... Kylle calmed me down, and we made it safely through the next 2 phone calls... First, both of the eggs fertilized... HUGE step!!! and Second, they both made it to day 3 for retrieval.. Both of them were transferred, and well... the next phone call wasn't a good one. Negative blood test. Now, I knew going in to this that it was a gamble... A $12,000.00 gamble to be exact, but I took that gamble, hoping for the best. I have been trying so hard to convince myself that it was worth it, and then a thought came to me... I have spent more money on stupider things... So I don't regret it. Actually the crazy thing is I am ACTUALLY considering doing it again... At first I said, no way... but I really do want a child of my own... maybe I am just being impatient... The doctors haven't found anything really wrong with us, and he even told me last week that it's possible that I could get pregnant on my own still... so maybe I should just be patient, I don't know... My birthday is next week, and ten years ago when asked what I would be doing when I turned 24 my answer was always.. I'll be a mom.. and usually I was a lawyer too... I'm neither of those. I wish I could figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I wish I could start an animal foundation, and save pets that stray away from home. I always see cute little dogs running around neighborhoods, and I feel so bad, I wish I could save them all... I wish I could do something about the sucky insurance coverage for infertility in Nevada. I wish I could just move back east for a little bit, maybe I will... So my goal for right now is to make the most of my skinny body! I'm going to be working with a trainer to get nice and toned, so I will look hot in the bikini that I will NOt be wearing in public... hmph.. And I need to find something to do.. This staying at home thing is getting SOOO boring!! Friday I laid around all day, watched movies, and I did a little laundry. I don't have to do laundry very often anymore because my new washer and dryer wash so many clothes at once! You'd think that would be a good thing... Yes it can wash more... but that also means I have to fold WAY more! Lol... Fold... ha! Like I ever fold any laundry!! You know what's funny? Folding underwear! I know there are lots of people who do that... YOU ARE WEIRD!!! Seriously!? Why fold your underwear? Who cares if it's wrinkled? It's UNDER your clothes!! When we first got married, I put Kylle's underwear in his underwear drawer, and he was like, don't you fold it? I was like... YOU can fold it if you like, but I don't fold underwear!! I fold pants, and towels... that's it. The rest I hang up, or underwear gets thrown in a drawer. I like doing laundry... except for putting the clothes away.. that's kind of a big part I guess. I like doing dishes. The only reason why I need a dishwasher is to dry my dishes. I HATE drying dishes! I am so scatterbrained... A recent discovery of mine is that I really don't have a bad memory at all. Anyone who knows me would say that I have a horrible memory, which I would normally agree with, but then... I realized that my brain does actually work!! The problem is, it stores things in a far away place, and sometimes it takes me extra time to find it. But most things are actually there! Wow! My brain works so fast... I can be thinking about so many things, and one thing leads to another thing, and you have me going from "what my life should be" to "folded underwear"... I will come up with the weirdest things, and Kylle will say, Um.. where did that come from? And then I go backward, and it's soooo crazy! I think I've rambled enough for tonight, but dang, it feels so good to get some of that out. Phew...